Another week, another victory for your Ultimate Survivor. By halftime of the Forty Niners’ (4-1, Riggo’s Rag’s Power Ranking 2) reenactment of Little Big Horn on the Buffaloed Bills (2-3, RRPR 28) last week, I had switched the channel to watch as thousands… and thousands of Survivor League seasons ended on the foot of Al Czervik… I mean Mason Crosby. I have not seen a shank that bad since… Stephen “Snausages” Gostkowski in Week 2. (No, no, Mr. Snausages. I’m not done with you by darn sight.) If you take only one gold-plated pearl of wisdom from your Ultimate Survivor friend this season – please, NEVER pick a road team. This is not college. There are no Alabama at Southwest Louisiana Tech A&M Prep matchups. NFL road games are where Survivor League seasons go to die. And for all of you that picked the Green Bay Packers (2-3, RRPR 12) at Indianaplois(2-3, RRPR 20) last week, pull up a chair – there are plenty of friends waiting for you at the bar.
(For the purposes of this article we assume the most popular answer on our poll is the one that was used to survive last week. So far we have used Houston, Cincinnati, Dallas, Baltimore and San Francisco)
With each passing week, the “confidence” of your Ultimate Survivor friend reaches new heights. This week your stone-cold, triple-platinum, lock of the century, Survivor League pick has to be the Atlanta Falcons (5-0, RRPR 3) at home over the hapless marauders of Oakland (1-3, SI Ranking 29). The Raiders have to fly three time zones to play an early game against at team that is performing at a significantly higher level. Now that Brian Cushing of the Houston Texans (5-0, RRPR 1) is out for the season with an ACL tear, I have the Falcons poised to become the second best team in the NFL behind the retro Niners. Approximately once every year a West Coast team breaks the trend and wins an early game on the East Coast. Unfortunately for the Silver and Black, those honors have already been taken by the Arizona Cardinals (4-1, RRPR 13) in Week 2 courtesy of the New England Patriots (3-2, RRPR 5) and Mr. Snausages.
My alternate pick, in case you have used Atlanta already, this week is Arizona over the Buffaloed Bills. In two of their three road games this year, Buffaloed has been downright obliterated – losing by 20 to the New York Jets (2-3, RRPR 27) in Week 1, and by 42 to the Niners last week. The Bills did not even bother going home this week to prepare for the tail end of their back-to-back West Coast road trip. My guess is that the elongated stay was to avoid the 17 fans waiting for them back in Orchard Park. Regardless, look for another double digit loss by the soon-to-be Los Angeles Bills.
My sucker bet of the week is the Baltimore Ravens (4-1, RRPR 4) over the Dallas Cowboys (2-2, RRPR 15). The Ravens do not score a lot of points, and have not shown the same pass rush without Terrell Suggs anchoring the charge. I am not ready to say that the Cowboys take the win on this one, but I am also not ready to put my streak on the line on this game.