“Global warming has increased significantly in the last eight hours, you say? Tupac and Elvis have been spotted drinking sangria on a beach in Cabo? North Korea has actually managed a successful missile launch? See, that’s all great to know, but why don’t you just let me know when Roger Goodell walks up to the podium with the second pick, would you?”
While that dialogue may be hypothetical, I think it represents the current mental state of many of us in the DC stronghold.
If it doesn’t concern Robert Griffin III and the resurrection of the burgundy and gold, it’s nothing more than innocuous jib-jab.
If you believe in signs, then it’s important to note that RG3’s fast-approaching entrance into the NFL may well have been heralded by the goings-on in the DC sports scene over the last 24 hours.
Let’s do a quick recap, shall we?
The woeful Wizards are entering their season finale tonight against Miami on a five game win streak. John Wall, who has been accused of regressing in his sophomore season, has managed a double-double in four of the last five contests.
The Nationals have made a resounding statement to start off the season by rising to the top of the National league standings and sweeping their series with San Diego on Wednesday night, adding to their 14-4 overall record.
Then, of course, there are the Capitals. After struggling mightily this season amidst coaching changes and having to pick up the slack for struggling superstar Alex Ovechkin, the Caps closed out a seven game series against defending cup champs Boston Bruins on Wednesday night, consequently silencing a raucous sell-out crowd in TD Garden.
What we have here, folks, is a city that is suddenly winning on all fronts. Charlie Sheen jokes aside, this is serious business for a city that has been in serious need of good vibes for some time.
What, then, is the impetus for the sudden hot streak for DC’s pro teams?
I’ll play devil’s advocate for this one and attribute it to “RG3-ver” (get it?) and its subsequent side-effects.
In all seriousness, the unprecedented amount of wins the Nats, Caps and Wizards have collected his too timely.
On the eve that a once-in-a-lifetime athlete prepares to don his warrior’s feathers, the little kid in me sees stars aligning and the angels of sports heaven heralding his arrival with a literal and figurative red carpet.
It wasn’t very long ago that the Wizards were jettisoned Flip Saunders and appeared to be in full-on meltdown mode, nor was it that long ago that the Caps seemed to be wading through equally choppy waters as they parted ways with Bruce Boudreau. The Nats? They’ve played court-jester to the MLB’s elite teams since their arrival in 2005.
Suddenly, we’re seeing three drab, dented wheels spinning fluidly and with purpose. That fourth wheel, the most important one of the bunch, is getting a historic overhaul tonight in Manhattan.
Are you feeling the goosebumps yet? No? I’d recommend checking your pulse.
We’re on the cusp of something big here, folks. This isn’t just me talking, either. Les Carpenter of Yahoo! sports can tell you all about prophecy and what a Texas minister saw in RG3 when he was just a child.
I’m not suggesting there’s anything hidden in the Dead Sea scrolls pretaining to Griffin or that we should be searching the skies for a wayward comet cutting a red swath across the heavens (there you go, ‘Game of Thrones’ fans) but there’s no denying that RG3 will be a catalyst of sorts for a town that has grown listless and frustrated with its sports.
It all starts tonight.
When the clock stops and Goodell walks up to the podium, you’ll know it’s time to breathe again. Indeed, those of us who swear fealty to the nation’s capital have been waiting to exhale for over two decades.
So if you’re happy now, wait until approximately 8:06 tonight- that happiness will morph into unbridled elation.
Put your party hats on, kids: DC is about to be a sports town again.