Top ten reasons why Albert Haynesworth is still a Redskin

I’m sure most of you across the Redskins nation know by now that the verdict is in and Albert Haynesworth has been suspended for the last four games of the season.  Big deal.  If this is not the largest anti-climax this season (aside from the McNabb contract that was then wasn’t), then I don’t know what is.  The announcement should have been of his supposedly eminent release.  There has to be something more meaningful as to why Haynesworth is still in a Redskins uniform.  So here we have it; the top ten reasons Albert Haynesworth is still a Washington Redskin.

10.  He is really working undercover for the CIA and the Redskins were the best cover for his anti-terrorism operations.

9.  He adds some kind of Feng shui and removing him will throw the balance off of the sidelines.

8.  There is hope he can still one day become a productive team member. (A cricket chirps, followed by nervous laughter.)

7.  He makes the rest of the Redskins look better by comparison.

6.   It has become exceedingly cold outside and he puts off a lot of body heat.

5.  Someone in the front office is enjoying punishing him.

4.  Mike Shanahan is enjoying punishing him.

3.  The entire organization is enjoying watching him be punished.

2.  The organization thinks that the fans want to see him be punished.  (In fact most fans just want him gone.)

1.  The Redskins aren’t going to give in and let him have his way. 

Number one is the best bet here.  The Redskins are depriving him of his ability to play and are making his life miserable.  They aren’t going to give him an easy way out, and they are probably hoping he will quit.  I say just get this over and fire him.  Stop delaying the inevitable.  We get it. You don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that if you whine loud enough you get your way.  Either way, the outrageous sum of money that was used on him is gone.   Get this cancer off the team so the healing can begin.  Are my words harsh?  Maybe so, but I don’t think Phillip Daniels or many others will have a problem with what I said.

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