Famous Cowboys Who Jerk Off for Men

Let it be said, the Rag is a family place and I have actually censored comments for being less graphic than even my headline.  Frankly, I just can’t pass this one up so if you aren’t interested in reading something of a graphic nature, please skip this post. If you are too young to be reading this post go back to wanking to pictures of the Redskins cheerleaders like you were before you stumbled on this post.

The lovable, laughable, untouchable Kissing Suzy Kolber has dropped another fabulous story for us.  In a new book coming out by Jeff Pearlmen called “Boys Will Be Boys” it is revealed that 49ers and Cowboys DE Charles Haley used to masturbate in the locker room and during meetings.

The book covers the often colorful history of the Cowboys during the 90’s and presumably details the drugs, guns, and the skinny posts. [pun intended] But it reserves a special chapter for Haley and his nickname “the last naked warrior.”

Here I am quoting KSK quoting Pearlman: “Haley would stroll up to an unsuspecting (49er) teammate, whip out his phallus, and repeatedly stroke it in his face. Players initially laughed it off. But Haley refused to stop. He would jerk off in the locker room, in the trainer’s room. He’d wrap his hand around his penis, turn toward a Joe Montana or John Taylor, and bellow, ‘You know you wanna suck this!’”

He goes on to say: “Charles used to beat off in meetings while talking graphically about other players’ wives. It got to the point of ejaculation.”

Prepared now for a list of tasteless oneliners!

Now we know what was in Jimmy Johnson’s hair!

You know the difference between Joe Montana and Troy Aikman?  He really did want to suck it!

Now I know how he got all those sacks.  No offensive lineman wanted to touch him.

Terrell Owens isn’t the only person to “do a dance” on the Cowboy’s star.

And speaking of dancing, doesn’t this bring a whole new meaning to the concept of the sack dance?

OK, that’s all I’ve got now, but come back for more because every time I think of one I’m going to add.  And most importantly, add yours in the comment field!  This may be the best thing to happen to the Redskins-Cowboys rivalry since Barry Switzer “forgot” he had his gone in his suitcase.

-DW

 

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Tags: Charles Haley Masturbation Redskins

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