Emmitt Smith Starts New Career in Stating the Obvious

3_63_smith_emmitt.jpgESPN is reporting that Emmitt Smith stopped by the Cowboys minicamp and advised PacMan Jones to make ‘Better Choices.’  He then allegedly advised Tank Johnson to stop driving while drunk and suggested that people should dress warmly when it’s cold out.  Smith’s previous ideas include the Weather Channel’s  ”Rain-makes-everything-wet” Theory and McDonald’s innovative 80′s McDLT promotion that “Keeps the hot side hot; keeps the cool side cool.”

 Personally I’d like to thank Emmitt “Captain Insight” Smith for giving us that blinding glimpse of the obvious.  It’s this kind of keen observation that makes him such a valuable addition to the ESPN broadcast team. 

Tags for this Article: Blinding Glimpse of the Obvious, Cheap Shots, Cowboys, Emmitt Smith, Okay I made some of this up, Pac Man

Topics: Blinding Glimpse Of The Obvious, Cheap Shots, Cowboys, Emmitt Smith, Okay I Made Some Of This Up, Pac Man

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  • dwagner

    That’s a great picture!  I’m just waiting for her to put on two rubber gloves and start digging!

    Also, doesn’t it look like his left leg is missing?  The right leg is high in the air because it is resting on her thigh. Why isn’t the other one visible resting on her other thigh?  I guess it is the angle, but maybe she’s pointing to him and saying, "Look, he lost a leg doing this move!"

    Finally, doesn’t it look like Paramount just announced a sequel to Kazaam and Emmitt is audtioning to replace Shaq?

    -DW

  • http://thelandryhat.com thelandryhat

    Wow. A Redskins fan throwing barbs at the NFL’s most prolific rusher in its history. That’s just great. Show some damn effing respect. I mean give me a break here. And the only comment on this disgusting blog is your weird psycho "I’m too busy" DW. Gross weirdos. Disgusting. Losing respect fast buckos. Real fast.

  • http://riggosrag.com/ Redskins Guy

    I respect his football abilities. Hell I respect his ability to dance, even if I find it funny.  What I don’t respect is Emmitt Smith the comentator.  You yourself have posted information on how badly he’s done.  This is another example of him saying something foolish and stupid.  I found it funny and thought this would be fun.  Try having a sense of humor once in a while Dan.  It’s not like I accused your team of cheating in the playoffs like you did to the Redskins last year.  Now THAT is classless and wrong.

  • http://riggosrag.com/ Redskins Guy

    NOTE: When I wrote this article, I did so intending for the Tags to be visible and obvious.  Having the perceptive prowess of your average cinderblock, I didn’t notice that the Tags were not normally displayed so I just added them so the article can be read in the manner and spirit it was originally intended.

  • http://landryhat davedallasfan

    i have’nt heard emmitt do much comontating. i’ve heard him once on either espn or nfl network????? not sure there. but love the way he played the game, and hell my wife got me addicted to watching dancing with the stars when emmitt was on there. she knew who emmitt was, but she’s not a huge football fan. she’ll watch a game occasionally. but she loves to dance and she says that emmitt has a class and suave about him that she never knew football players could have. she also thinks that jason taylor could be a winner this year as well. hey i thought that was awesome of emmitts talents to win that show. i’ve been dancing with my wife for years now and still can’t pick up my moves. 2 left feet. wish i could dance like that. hey i’ll tell you guys the women love that stuff. emmitt’s all class in my book. he made a football fan out of my wife. hey, aikman and moose johnston ain’t too bad in the broadcast booth. i even thought irvin was good too. oh, well at least emmitt’s still got the moves

  • http://landryhat davedallasfan

    hey anybody that gets to dance with cheryl burke is one lucky SOB in my book. she’s one fine lookin women. what a figure…..wow….. if you guys ever watch the show you’ll love these women on there. some of the most beautiful ladies i’ve ever seen. and probably some of the most athletic…..great show, watch it every week, guys. and i think cheryl is pointing at emmitts ass???? not????

  • http://landryhat davedallasfan

    you guys are wild over here. love the humor!!!!! i just can’t get pissed over this kind of stuff, it’s just too damn funny. how can a guy get mad when you’re laughin so hard. great work on the emmitt stuff. a great commedien (rodney dangerfield) once said, "hey you know you made the big time when you tell jokes about yourself, and people laugh at em. they know ya." now that’s a complement

  • http://landryhat davedallasfan

    so when the world is laughin at the dallas cowboys, guess that’s a compliment then. they know us. and they know we got the spot light on us. we’ve made it. thats what happens when your the best guys. thanks for all the great attention you guys give us. you should try to focus a little on the redskins though, it really is startin to look bad. the skins need some lovin too.

  • http://riggosrag.com/ Redskins Guy

    Thanks DaveDallas! That’s a great attitude and something I’d love to see promoted over here.  Yes I make fun, but there’s respect too.  And maybe a little jealousy.  I *WISH* we had a superstar quarterback that does goofy stuff with his hot celebrity wife.  Campbell might one day reach that level but right now we seem to be stuck with a rookie with no accuracy and a tendency to play just well enough to lose in a dramatic fasion in the 4th quarter. 

    Oh, as for Emitt Smith, he’s easily the worst talking head in football now that Gumbel got himself fired.  My favorite quote from Smith is when he called someone "Sharp as a whistle" but there are many other Emmitt-isms that I think Landry Hat took the time to catalogue here.

    The one thing I can say about Emmitt is that at least he’s "funny-bad" and you don’t have to listen to him for an entire three hours since he’s not in the broadcast booth.  Gumbel was "make-my-teeth-hurt" bad which is an entirely different thing.

    LandryHat had some good articles on the subject.  You can read about Gumbell’s atrocities here. You can read about more Emmitt-isms here.

  • dwagner

    Seriously, Dan, are you the fun police now?  Are you taking over for the NFL?  Do you really think it would be more fun to be a Cowboys fan if there were no Redskins fans to make fun of Emmitt for wearing cutesy gold shoes and saying dumb stuff on the air?  What fun is a rivalry if you can’t do stuff like this?  Instead of coming here and being mean spirited, write your own article making fun of Mark Schlereth and his stupid soap character.  Have fun, lighten up.  Yes Emmitt is one of the best RBs ever.  I think Jim Brown, Barry Sanders, Walter Peyton, and Eric Dickerson were better, but there’s an argument to be made either way.

    And as Wayne Gretzkey has proven about hockey, just because you are good at playing it doesn’t mean you are good at coaching it, GMing it, commentating for it, or even betting on it.  Relax.  We know he was good.

    -DW

  • http://riggosrag.com/ Redskins Guy

    Dan’s just feeling inferior because the most clever retaliation he’s been able to think of involves calling us  "Crapskins" ELEVEN times instead of his usual ten. 

    He’s mean and cranky because he’s vulnerable and outclassed and he knows it.   Dan, I DARE you to prove me wrong by posting something witty and funny.  Give us your best shot buddy!