According to the New York Daily News, Michael Vick is playing football for his prison team. I mostly post this because I find it hilarious. There are the obvious “Longest Yard” jokes, and of course the questions of what happens when one of these guys get a chance to lay a hit on him.
But the only thing I kept thinking was, “How can we get Rae Carruth transferred to Vick’s prison?” For those who forget Carruth, he was the Panthers starting WR who had his wife killed in a drive by shooting. This would have to be the best QB-receiver combo in the history of prison football, right? Then we could put the whole thing on pay-per-view and raise money for the ASPCA and women’s shelters.
While we’re on the subject, I have to say that this is probably bad idea for Vick. It is unlikely he will get hurt or anything. I suspect that barring tearing an ACL slipping on some bad turf, the chances of him taking a big damage is minimal. There probably aren’t many guys in prison that combine size and speed the way NFL players do. No, the concern I have is that Vick will probably lose any sense of discipline he may have had as a QB. Surely, every time the pocket collapses he’ll just take off and score a TD. Why throw the ball when you can run circles around everybody?
What is the alternative? Film study in the prison theater? I guess not. Asking the warden for a wipe board and diagraming plays like Vince Lombardi in that old footage (“What we need is a seal here, and a seal here.”)? I doubt that works either. Conjugal visits from old coach Dan Reeves? Umm…let’s skip that image.
No, I don’t really have an answer. But doesn’t this make him even more of a punch line when he tries to get a new job when he gets out?
NFL Owner: Michael, we’re concerned that you havn’t played in awhile. How did you keep your skills sharp?
MV: Oh, don’t worry. I’ve spent the last three years running from recovering crack heads and tax cheats in minimum security prison. I scored 20 TD a game for the Leavenworth Rockpilers of the FPL. I was named MVP.
NFL Owner: Most Valuable Player?
MV: Close. Most Valuable Prisoner.
NFL Owner: We’ll call you if Vinny Testaverde doesn’t want to come out of retirement again.
Maybe there is no good answer. But I know one thing. If I played ball with Vick, I’d do what we do when we play pickup in the park and make the “QBs can’t run” rule.