Vinny Cerrato Named Grand Pubah

In a move that should surprise no one and is likely designed to distract the press from the “yeah, we’re so out of ideas for the coaching search we’re thinking of hiring Fassel” debacle, the Redskins announced today that Cerrato would be named VP of Football Operations.

The press release says that Cerrato will be responsible for all aspects of the team’s football organization, including personnel, the team roster, scouting and salary cap management, the size of cheerleader costumes, the thickness of the cushions on the Club Level, flying Dan Snyder’s helicopter to pick up first round draft picks and Clinton Portis’s wigs.

In related news, the team announced Vinny would start flying lessons this week. 

OK, it didn’t, but wouldn’t that be more interesting than the announcement they actually made?

As it is Vinny is a known quantity with a pretty good track record.  In the 9 years he’s been here, Patrick Ramsey is really the only bust first round pick we’ve made.  And considering 33% of all first rounders are out of the league in 5 years and only 33% make a pro bowl ever, that’s not bad.  He doesn’t have the Bobby Bethard track record of finding tons of gems in the back half of the draft, but we’ve had a few winners including Heyer and Montgomery and reaching up carefully into the second round for guys like Cooley and McIntosh.  Considering out strategy regarding RFAs and UFAs this isn’t surprising.

Good luck, Vinny.  Find us some good ones with this nearly full slate of picks.


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  • gehenna

    I have to admit that Vinny has been okay. Not great, but okay. And even Ramsey had a little promise but became a bust IMO because Spurrier and that offensive line broke him.

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  • Greg

    snyder better wake up quick !!!!!!!!!!!

  • Gayskin

    He’s the grand pubah just like I am. I am the grand pubah of our chapter here in my town. We now have three new very gay chapters that have come out of the foreskin in washington….Hey!….Foreskin, Redskin, Foreskin, Redskin….There is a real connection there, right? We think so. Anyway, that real meany Gayhenna  (who we wouldn’t let into our club back in 2003) refuses to believe we exist because he is so bitter. Our initiation at the time was blowing three guys in 20 minutes but he wanted to do five guys. WE just thought that was too gay for us. We don’t need that sort of element in our beloved redskins club. A club that reaches every state in the country and has more members than straight Redskin Fans anywhere. Hail to the redskins!! Can someone tell Godd Collins to write me. I’d like him to cum and give a speech at one of our Butt Togethers Meetings in Las Vegas.

  • Ben

    Awsum for you Gayskin, I’m er really happy for you?Vinny is a trainwreck and as long as he is the toady whispering into Dan’s ear this team won’t really go anywhere.It’s Vinny that is head bobbing in blank approval when Dan suggests the Redskins can part with draft picks for the likes of TJ Duckett and Brandon Lloyd.  Vinny will not/cannot stand up to Dan Snyder.It’s Vinny that is head bobbing in blank approval when Dan Snyder makes the Redskins draft picks.  Until 2006 with Anthony Montgomery, Reed Doughty and Kedric Golston the Redskins were unable consistently to make good draft picks below the 3rd round.Draft picks are free and year after year, decade after decade have been proven the best way to build a football team for the long haul.  They are affordable, you get a lot of them and you can take a good long look at a guy before you give him big money.The Redskins have a history of pissing away their draft picks for retreads or short term solutions and the rest of the league looks at the Redskins like that kid that you can get to trade his cookies for your broccoli.The news that Vinny has been promoted to the position last held by Joe Gibbs is bad news indeed, the exactly wrong kind of continuity this team needs.

  • gehenna

    My personal guess is that Gayskin is really Landry’s closet alter ego, and that deep down he has repressed fantasies that he can live out only on this web site.  Yes, you guessed it, he’s secretly a Redskins fan. 

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